“Out of the many things I have learnt from him, the three most valuable ones are what has helped me survive my most difficult times.”
Fathers are our first super heroes.
As the day to celebrate them dawns, here is a small tribute to the man who made me what I am today – My Achan. An Adhikari by profession, he was a very handsome with a towering personality. The head of an entire village, he was a firm believer that actions are the best lessons and was always conscious of his emotions and doings. He believed people lived on through people, which is true as his thoughts and teachings live through me, my children and their children.
As a child , I had a habit of not closing the door when I left the room . He would watch over and remind me to shut the door after me. I wondered why such care needed to be taken for something as trivial as this, so he sat me down and explained that doing this is a great reminder for your brain to look at what you are leaving behind. This helps you gain perspective on what is unwanted and start a fresh journey . As I grew up , I realised we take on baggage emotionally after each incident that happens . Eventually just like how an elevator cannot function properly if its on over load , we humans also tend to malfunction when we are over burdened . So setting things straight and leaving behind memories or actions that only creates trauma has been a bigger attribute to my positivity.
The second most insightful lesson he taught was to forgive but not forget. Forgiving people is an action performed for our mental peace than for others, however choosing to forget is a bigger mistake you could commit. Each person who has wronged me has only turned out to be a more important lesson, their errors have only made me cautious of their behaviour and character . A mistake once done is an error , twice done is a sin. This teaching has helped me in people management and making better life choices .The Third one is the most precious of the lot – To Respect Another One’s Time. He believed , punctuality is the biggest unspoken trait. A minute late will increase ill feeling towards you by ten folds so make sure you are on time.
Its been decades since he passed away but his words are still clear in my mind . We lived In a big joint family with over 40 people. My father made it a practice to celebrate at least one happy moment each day, whether it was my sisters first dance performance or my mothers new cooking trial – we always celebrated and shared happiness . However we are suffering or sad , its important to keep your home happy. Doing this only gives us strength to push ourselves more In overcoming difficulties. Even today , with the pandemic looming over us , I am thankful for our little moments of happiness and to my father for teaching me the value of cherishing people, memory and time.
A happy father’s day to my Achan . Thank you for protecting , guiding and watching over me.
Dr. V P Sajeevan